It still blows my mind that we’re even thinking about formal education right now.
Why do we think that it’s going to somehow magically work like it always has, and kids are going to grasp concepts and grow dendrites as they always did, and we’re not just going to have to do this all over again when things get back to a place where children are secure enough to learn the way we’ve been teaching them in traditional school settings (which bears a second look, but whatevs.)
Since no one seems to be listening to the mental health experts that are saying that what kids need is a little TLC, less stress, and more freedom to just “be” this year (maybe it’s because all of their non-violent communication training makes them not loud enough to be taken seriously?) here we are getting ready to head back to an environment that is trying to create something that somewhat resembles education.
Throwing caution to the wind, and e-learning best practices out the window, most of our schools are, bless their hearts, trying to cobble together a schedule that makes everyone as happy, er, as un-pissed off as they can. Here in Texas, with parents as the ‘customers’ but with TEA holding our purse…we aren’t necessarily the customer schools are trying to make happy. It really seems like they’re just trying to keep us quiet.
And they’re doing a pretty good job. We can’t get too pissed at teachers, they’re doing the best they can. We can’t get pissed at administrators, they can only do what central office tells them to. We can’t get too pissed at the District, they’re just trying to sort out TEA’s mandates, that are ever-changing and seem hell bent on defunding public schools. And Mike Morath, well, what are we supposed to do about him? Our Governor? Forget about it. We’ll just have to vote him out in 2 years I guess. So here we are. Not pissed at anyone in particular, other than ourselves for not being able to figure out what we’re supposed to do now.
So, for those of us heading into the great unknown that is the upcoming school year, here are some things we can do:
Accept Your Role as Co-Teacher
One more job? Really? Yep. We’ve been given the unpaid role of co-teacher (but we’re women, so we’re used to doing more work for not commensurate pay, amirite?) And as such, we need to make use of the resources that we’re given, seek resources out if they’re not readily available (and share them), or create them if they’re lacking. Those are three separate tactics and skill sets, mind you, and you probably know the person you are and how you’re going to handle co-teaching. If you’re the person that just puts her head in the sand and waits for direction, there’s room for you, too. I’d recommend that you saddle up to that know-it-all friend and save room in your budget to buy her gift baskets.
Focus on the Basics
Kenya Hameed, PsyD, a clinical neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute, recommends starting by making sure the basics are in place. Do you have everything you need for remote learning? (Find some great tips for each age/grade level here.) Do you know where to log in to find information, and how to navigate each platform your child will be using? If you lack tech, or are under resourced in some other way, contact your local District parent support line, your campus, and/or your local council of PTAs for direction. Or just call that mom you know that’s super annoying and involved in everything. She’ll probably be able to point you in the right direction.
Impose Some Structure
My response to chaos is simplicity and structure. We can’t do it all, nor should we have to. We aren’t going to be perfect, nor should we try to. But we know the human brain really likes structure, consistency, and repetition. And to have those, we need to set some boundaries. Not only do we have a lot of feelings about the words ‘structure’, ‘routine’, ‘regimen’, and other words that make us think of confinement, but exploring the concept of setting clear boundaries as integral to mental health and collective calm can give us hives. Being the keeper of boundaries is exhausting, y’all. And we as a culture kind of suck at setting and managing boundaries, so we don’t have clear models. Not to mention that we individually have our own challenges wrapped up in our stories and traumas. But it’s a necessary evil that holding boundaries in this time is what we’re being asked to do.
Make a (Workable) Schedule
This is a hard one for a lot of people. Some of us have very defined work schedules, so we like the rest of our lives to be a little more free-form. Some of us just don’t have enough practice in time management or setting/holding boundaries to make a schedule actually work. That’s okay. If you need help with the steps of making a great schedule, I got you. But if you’re well versed in the concept but need a few guidelines, my suggestion is to take at least 2 weeks to collect data while doing your dry runs so you can see what’s workable and what’s living in fantasy land. You want to hit the ground running with a set schedule you won’t need to modify very much, if at all.
Do Dry Runs
Even if you don’t have all the information on the platforms your child will be using, give your child opportunities to engage in the tools they’ll be interacting with the most. Have them practice getting their headphones out, logging in to their computer, and following a basic set of instructions. Depending on their age, you can give them a list of tasks to do on the computer like, pull up your email, send mom an email that says, “I love you!”, go to google and search “What is the state bird of Texas” and write down the answer. You get the idea. The more you dry run what the tech and supplies they’ll be using, the more potential snags you’ll identify ahead of time.
Focus on Core Subjects
Let’s be real. Science and social studies, while super great, work with concepts that can be caught up on later. Focusing on math, reading, and writing are very systematically managed within curriculum and should be prioritized. This is particularly true for kids with learning disabilities, notes Laura Phillips, PsyD, a clinical neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “They’re at a much greater risk of sliding,” says Dr. Phillips, “and they need much more consistent, systematic instruction.” And what about high stakes testing? Until this is taken off the table, we also need to prioritize those subjects and grade levels affected.
Trust Your Instincts
You know your kid. Now, more than ever, it is important to focus on your child’s specific educational, social, and emotional needs. Know them, figure out what would serve them best, and be prepared to advocate for them.
Be Prepared to Advocate (Nicely)
We’re all just trying to figure this out. Admin, teachers, District…everybody. If your child isn’t being served, speak up with solutions. I’ll say that again. Speak up with solutions. We cannot put the burden on teachers and schools to solve all the problems. We need to go to them with what we’ve identified as problems and propose solutions with an open mind for collaboration and compromise. If we go in with our Karen cape on, sure, we might get some attention. But we also might shut the process down for the person who comes after us with a soft voice and a big need. Let’s be as kind as we can when expressing ourselves, to lay the foundation for open lines of communication that stay open.
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It’s hard, y’all. But once we get some of the foundational business out of the way we can lift our heads up and focus on all of the bigger issues at hand. Inequities. Long-term solutions. People who are suffering in much greater ways than we are, and what we can do to fix that.
Focusing on the priorities, and what’s within our control, is required in order to think big picture.