I don’t take pleasure in the simple things.
It’s a struggle for me to slow down, and do focus on what’s in front of me. To be present, and to be grateful. I’m passionate, and ambitious, and I’m hard to satisfy.
And in the best of times, my life and family dynamic allow me to flit about. But in times of chaos, simplifying is the key to my sanity. And slowing the whole world down to the nuts and bolts gets me through the days without feeling like a total failure.
It Starts with Values
If you don’t know what your values are, independently, as a parent, and as a family, the time to figure that out is now. Determining what’s important to you and holding those as pillars to your philosophies and approaches will help you to make decisions and prioritize your actions. It will help you to stay on track, and not get distracted by the compelling riff raff. When your kids say, “____ was really important in my family growing up.” your values will fill in that blank.
It Continues with Boundaries
Knowing your values is the critical first step, but from there you have to set, and maintain, clear boundaries. This is a doozy for a lot of people, as we’re not very practiced at this in our standard American culture. If you struggle with setting expectations, you struggle with boundaries. If you struggle with giving and upholding discipline, you struggle with boundaries. If you’re inconsistent in your rules, you struggle with boundaries. If you can’t stick to a plan or a schedule, even though you really want to, you struggle with boundaries. That’s okay. Most of us do. But there’s no time like the present to explore your personal relationship with boundaries, and how to set them effectively.
When we know our values and set and maintain clear boundaries, we have a great structure for prioritizing what we focus on. And in times of chaos, we have to get down to the bare bones of what matters.
Focus on the Fleeting
While we can’t “live in the moment” every second of every day, we can prioritize the things that are valuable but temporary, and non-repetitive in our life cycle. For example, I have been highly focused on the fact that I get ‘bonus time’ with my teenager that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. My toddler, though she smashes everything in site and is the cutest terrorist on the planet, is my last baby. My middle girls are at such fun and interesting points in their development, and still want to snuggle me every chance they get. I’m getting to focus on things I didn’t have time for before. I’m getting to focus. After work that pays the bills and other necessities, filling your time with the things that you won’t be able to get back to will often leave time for little else.
Allow Time for You
When we’re simplifying, don’t simplify yourself off the schedule. In fact, do the opposite and prioritize yourself. Center yourself in your own life. It’s not as luxurious or selfish, and it is essential to having the capability to do all that we’re destined to do, and to be able to be clear of mind and brave of heart. And other super important stuff.
Allow Time for What’s Bigger Than You
Whether you’re diving into a spiritual practice, a cause that speaks to your soul, or simply making space for learning about issues affecting the world outside your door, simplicity in our lives allows us the space to explore the bigger picture. Connecting with something outside of yourself will allow you to experience the flow of resources that can happen when you both make it about you, and not about you, in the same breath.
Allow Time to Listen
If you’re finding yourself overwhelmed and drawn in a million directions, allow yourself the space to listen to your intuition. If you’re ignoring a key area, your subconscious will tell you, loud and clear. Satisfying those needs will look very different for each person, so don’t get caught up in comparisons. Listen to your inner voices, and allow them the space to steer you. You might be surprised at where you end up.